This Week in Old

-President George W. Bush confuses his memoir for one of his Yale term papers. (The Huffington Post)

-No shuffleboard, but not a raw deal: Stranded Carnival cruise ship tries to make up for feces-soaked floors and mayo-sandwiches with all the booze you can drink. (CNN.com)

-Just hope He calls you the next day: World’s Oldest Person’s secret to longevity was “giving her virginity to God.” (BBC.co.uk)

-A group of porpoises goes all Baywatch on a snoozing Dick Van Dyke. (The Guardian)

-Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi’s “Bunga-Bunga” means exactly what you think it means. (Newsweek.com)

-The jacket was his first mistake: Columbia Sportswear CEO Gert Boyle lays down the law on North Face-clad burglar. (The Washington Post)

-Gene Shalit leaves a huge, moustache-shaped hole in the hearts of “Today” viewers. (The Hollywood Reporter)