I LOVE your three previous books, especially Big Kiss, I can´t help laughing every time I read it. I´m really looking forward to reading the new one, which I preordered in B&N, something I only do with authors I like.

By Laura F on Jan 8, 2009

I just finished reading “How to Live” and I really enjoyed it.

By Don Martin on Jan 31, 2009

Henry Henry,

I read your article “You Never Know What You’ll Find in a Book” and cracked up. I have one of those hollowed books - Titled “It Might as Well be Spring”. It contains little treasures from my past like the faux tiara from the high school prom, my toenail that came off my big toe due to trauma from walking around Zermatt in bad snow boots and my dog’s baby teeth. I’m sure most authors hope that their out of print books don’t become hollowed out receptacles of priceless kitsch.

Because I was so hooked on your article, I searched for you on the web. I was delighted to see you had just come out with a book. Yep, I bought it and finished it last week. I was not sure about the format of the book at first but found the weaving of your family’s story a satisfying thread throughout the book. The stories, reminiscences and bold truths from your elders were compelling.

I enjoyed your book SO much; I gave it to my 72 year old psychiatrist cousin for his birthday last Saturday night. Your humor and insight is priceless so keep it up, Oh Henry.

From the other side of the continent,
Anne Lindsay

By Anne Lindsay on Feb 2, 2009

SEE ABOVE

By Marcia Greenwald born 1932 on Feb 11, 2009

“The marvellous thing is that it’s painless,” he said. “That’s how you know when it starts.”

–Hemingway, “The Snows of Kilimanjaro,” opening line.

My dear Mr. Alford, the supporting “l” can be traced back to Ernest himself. I imagine that he, when not bolstering his prose with said letter, often employed it to catch marlin.

Best regarlds,
–Gina

By Gina Kim on Feb 23, 2009

Oh Henry Alford! Your book was a wonderful addition to my first visit to New York, and there you were living near Bleeker Street all the while. New York was spectacular and having your book to come home to with a cup of hot tea made the whole trip all the better.

I love old people and hold them in great esteem and believe we are all the wiser to listen to them, most of the time. Having a 72 year old mom that lives near me is a blessing but of course she talks an awful lot, so I get wisdom, yes, but a whole lot TMI as well.

However, my dear departed grandmother, lovingly called Mama Ruey, was the mother load (pun intended) of wisdom and funny sayings. She took every day with big doses of jocularity, even days when rather sad things occurred. She lived to be 87 and was still enjoying her family and friends, especially on the day she had an aneurism and slipped quietly away from us.

Some of my favorite Mama Ruey-isms: (not all great morsels of wisdom but each good for a laugh)

I wouldn’t eat a coconut that rolled through her house.

He was drunker than a bicycle.

I would mend that shirt for you but it would look like a horse’s ass sewed up with barbwire.

If you’ll act half as nice as you look you will be just fine.

On hearing of the sexual escapades of the local Baptist minister…”I believe they better be slipping him the saltpeter.”

When a spate of pregnancies in the young married Sunday School Department was pointed out at church, one of the young fathers-to-be remarked, “Must be something in the air” to which Mama Ruey quipped, “It’s the feet that’s in the air!”

I did so enjoy your book, Mr. Alford, Henry, may I call you Henry? The stories of your family and of your personal life touched me and made me laugh but at times brought me to tears. Thank you for sharing that along side your interviews.

With warmest regards,

Lyn LaCava
Hurst, TX

PS. I’ll be looking for your other books soon.
Just list me under “Enthusiastic Fan”.

By Lyn LaCava on Feb 23, 2009

As the other California epigrammatist, I was fascinated by your visit to Ashleigh Brilliant, of whom I knew nothing other than from glancing at several of his books. My first thought was, dear God, am I that strange? Probably. What normal person would devote themselves to writing epigrams?

I’m working on my third book, at 67, I have written about 1,500 epigrams. I don’t know how Ashleigh does it, but I have a system, first used by Georg Christolph Lichtenberg in the 18th century, known as the waste-book method of composition. I can easily produce one or two a day. You might glance at my website to get an idea of what I do.

I enjoyed your book. My dad is still around at 91, very sharp, we talk all the time, and some things about your mom reminded me of him. He is not a person you can get to do things he doesn’t want to do, even ones that would be good for him.

Best wishes,
Michael Lipsey

By Michael LIpsey on Feb 24, 2009

I’m curious what the discussion with your editors must have been like deciding not to have chapter titles.

Writing humor in the age of Sedaris must be like what it was like to write fiction in the age of John Updike.

Finishing How to Live was sort of like watching the end of Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

Ralph Smith
Lyndonville, NY

By Ralph Smith on Feb 27, 2009

This my first entry Henry and I’m a little nervous wanting to sound intelligent and grammatically correct. I have to tell you that the “Pillar” was in a state during our run this morning, apparently your mother is in another production and needs a sparkly? garish? flashy? red costume. I will help out by stopping by Good Will on my way home and see if anything jumps off the rack at me…your mother is my idol, well after Phyllis Diller of course.

By Kay (the nicest mom ever) on Mar 16, 2009

Thank you for helping me to remember, think, change, laugh and draw lines. It is odd that one book could do that, yet, How to Live did that. Things we know but dont have the experience to accept and things our grandparents told us but dont have the time to remember. Oh, and by the way your mother, reading about her makes me laugh and laughter is what makes our memories fonder. Your mother reminds me of my mother but much stronger. Thanks again Henry.

By Tammy Legg on Mar 17, 2009

I just finished your book (in fact twice) my daughter who is an attorney-”just lent” it to me!
I will be 80 in August and read at least 2 new books a month- I took speed reading while in the army!
A lot of the people in your book I was familiar with but was still interesting!
Old age and death shouldn’t be taken too seriously- you were nothing before you were born and it will be the same when you!

A good read and will now read your other books!

Best regards

Vic DiMaggio
NO RELATION TO JOE

By Vic DiMaggio on Mar 19, 2009

Was writing a friend to let him know about(what I thought, anyway was) your hilarious piece on goat meat in the NY Times. In my haste your name came out as Hentu Alford - an African relative perhaps?

By AH on Apr 1, 2009

A new fan here. Discovered you with your goat meat article at the Times. Just wanted to let you know that I really like your style. I just ordered How To Live on Amazon. Can’t wait for it to arrive.

By Noly on Apr 4, 2009

Dear Henry,
In reading How To Live I noted on page 142 that we had been at the same teaching by His Holiness at Radio City Music Hall. You seemed to think it unusual that His Holiness had his secretary give an accounting of the finances for the weekend teaching. He has done this at each of his teachings in NYC I have attended. I believe this is because the teaching of the Dharma should always be free and being a monk His Holiness teaches for nothing. The admission fee we pay is strictly for rent of the facility, transportation, etc. His Holiness and the monks and nuns who work with him receive living expenses but no salary as such.

By Nancy Kay Harris on Apr 12, 2009

I finished “How To Live” this weekend. What a wonderfully written book! I was swept along on your journey and I hated for it to end. Though my mother “passed” 12 years ago, my father will be 70 this year and I am realizing that I should be paying more attention to the wisdom he passes along (though often with goofy sayings, just to get a laugh). Thank you for giving me a fresh perspective and sharing your quest for wisdom.

By Valerie Lynn on Apr 26, 2009

At my 75, your thoughts in How to Live were easily identified with. Often your conclusions are negative but………..
you have earned the right to that choice.
I believe the bottom line definition of wisdom, is finally understanding that one always has choice.
When I forget, is when I get into trouble.
Thanks a bunch for your thoughts and comments and hard work;does make one thinkkk!
Al Axelrod

By al axelrod on May 3, 2009

Mr. Alford

Just finished your book, really enjoyed it.

Thought I would learn something and realized I did not.

Must be my age (68)

S. Pope

By Anonymous on Aug 7, 2009

Dear DEAR Henry,

What a wonderful gift - YOUR wisdom and hilarious wit made HOW TO LIVE pure joy. I loved how you built the intensity toward the conclusion, and all your conclusions! You did something really true and good.

The wisdom of KNOWING WHAT TO SKIP was my favorite gift from your book. Just don’t skip the feelings - and don’t skip this book!!!

P.S. on the William Blake quote “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”

…….Yeah - but you arrive there a WRECK!

By Diane Magical on Aug 13, 2009

Dear DEAR Henry,

What a wonderful gift - YOUR wisdom and hilarious wit made HOW TO LIVE pure joy. I loved how you built the intensity toward the conclusion, and all your conclusions! You did something really true and good.

The wisdom of KNOWING WHAT TO SKIP was my favorite gift from your book. Just don’t skip the feelings - and don’t skip this book!!!

P.S. on the William Blake quote “The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.”

…….Yeah - but you arrive there a WRECK!

By Diane Magical on Aug 13, 2009

Dear Mr. Alford:
I just finished reading your book, and while I am not over 70, but just under it, I really don’t have any wisdom to impart yet, except that I try to keep myself upright, watch where my feet go, and hope the roof doesn’t cave in. You are truly a superb writer and observer of human nature, and your mother is one hell of a woman!
K.Schulte

By Karen Schulte on Aug 19, 2009

I thoroughly enjoyed How to Live, your personal family story intertwined with anecdotal interviews in your quest for finding wisdom. As an 80 year old, I can relate them to my own moments of madness or clairvoyance!!
I especially enjoyed you and Kendy assisting your mother in selecting a “finishing school” after her divorce. In that vein, I hope I may share a friend’s story about a call from her mother.

Helen’s 90 year old mom asked to be taken to the town’s leading ladies fashion shop. On their arrival, her mother told the saleslady she needed a “going away” dress. Helen knew of no travel plans and asked where she was going. Her mother resignedly said, “It’s for my visitation at the funeral home.”

It didn’t take her long to find the perfect dress; a pale blue chiffon in a size ten. Helen gasped, “but, mom, you’re a size 16!” Her mother sighed and said, “Helen, don’t you know anything? They just split it down the back at the funeral home!” That said, she had the clerk ring up the sale and smiled all the way home…..where she died 13 years later, at age 103.

p.s. Our West Des Moines Library offered How to Live as the staff selection of the month!!

By Margo M on Aug 27, 2009

Loved How To Live - laughed and laughed, especially about your mother. Am now anxious to read your other books.

Has anyone pointed out to you a bad grammatical error on page 40? Will mailed my brother and two sisters and (it should read me; He didn’t mail I)sorry to spoil my appreciation for your wonderful book with a correction but I’m surprised no one caught the error before being sesnt to the printer!

By Susan Sterling on Sep 9, 2009

I’ve just read your piece in the NYT about Wagner. As we all know, Wagner-bashing (both of the man and of the music) is an ancient sport, especially in NYC. You take it one step further, though: you sneer at the people who are moved by the music — even while getting in a little self-hype by feigning a superior detachment. This is all pretty predictable stuff.
As you know, Mark Twain was (once upon a time) witty and brilliantly funny about the German language and its difficulties; the late Anna Russell effectively sent up Wagner, the Lied and much else too. But when I read your little squib, I was simply struck by the slick cracker-barrel triviality of this and of so much else in contemporary American experience. Your books are sure to have a great success.

By W. on Sep 20, 2009

I have just read the article “Appointment in Istanbul”. As a Turkish guy who is studying in the States I felt very sorry for you and anger to Ziya. I hope you had a good time in Istanbul in spite of him.

By Joseph on Nov 9, 2009

what a surprise to open the times magazine section and to find an experience i’ve also had - and in “my” beloved istanbul/the first of a dozen visits - exactly detailed. and in delhi, and in marrakesh - if all of these long, long ago.

an odd melange of personal, political, economic & sexual factors; some (if not all) unwelcome - and seemingly unnecessary to american men of our generation.

would like to “talk” more privately.

christopher (nyc)

By christopher walling on Nov 10, 2009

I read “How to Live” and enjoyed it, so I requested “Municipal Bondage” via interlibrary loan. When it arrived, in spite of the picture of you balancing on a ledge, I was afraid it might be about tax-increment financing. I was relieved to discover otherwise. My favorite part of the book was the appraisal of your odds ‘n ends at the end by the second appraiser. Christies? They can’t say “the emperor has no clothes”? I liked the second appraiser. I thought I would split my guts.

By Susan Frenzel on Jan 30, 2010

Dear Mr. Alford,
I had never known of you before hearing you tonight on our PBS station, KUOW. You talked of your experiences interviewing old people. Being an old person now, I fell in love with you. How did I not know of you before? I’ll now get your book.
Thank you for this experience.

By Christine MacLean Gerhold on Feb 26, 2010

Henry, your fabulous book, HOW TO LIVE, hit a nerve, particularly since I’m dealing with a dying father in a hospice. As much as I hate to visit there, your passage on dealing with elders and the necessity of conveying to them how much they’ve meant and how they have changed our lives and how we have achieved certain wisdom because of them makes this whole visitation process so much easier. May I suggest in your next book that you explore the Asperger’s-like traits found in so many older men–their social awkwardness and inability to read cues– that limits their personal interaction in later years. I have bought multiple copies of your book to share with the hospice staff because I’ve found it so meaningful–don’t abandon the topic of aphorisms that contain all the wisdom of aging that one needs to know. My favorite is, “I always wanted to be someone, but obviously, I should have been more specific.”

By Kathy Megyeri on Apr 17, 2010

Henry, I appreciate so much your book HOW TO LIVE because I’m dealing with a father in a hospice and your advice to “convey to people how much they’ve meant, how they have changed our lives and how we have achieved certain wisdom because of them” makes my visits easier for me. May I suggest in your next book that you examine a common trait in male elders, that Asperger’s-like trait of social awkwardness and inability to read cues that really limits their social interaction in later years. Also keep collecting aphorisms that contain all the wisdom we really need to know. My favorite is, “I always wanted to be someone, but obviously, I should have been more specific.”

By Kathy Megyeri on Apr 17, 2010

Kathy!

My apologies for taking so long getting back to you. I am somewhat new (a year and a half) to blogging, and forget to check this comments area.

THanks so much for reading the book! I’m thrilled. And yes, I, too, would love to read more about the trials of older men. There hasn’t been much written about it. Ann Roark, who writes for the New York Times’s blog about aging, responded to that part of the book, too, and wrote this article:

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/13/with-friends-aplenty-many-widows-choose-singlehood/

I’m sorry about your dad, and I hope you have found some peace with that. That sounds tough.

Thanks again for writing.

Henry

By Henry Alford on Apr 27, 2010

Re your April 22nd list:
BAZINGA!!

By lawheezer on Apr 28, 2010

Henry, This is the most overdue fan letter you’ll ever receive. Two of your pieces in the NYT have been saved by me–one on goats that was such a lovely way to talk about expanding one’s food choices…among other things.

Saved, I need to add, as we moved from NYC to Portland, Oregon, a town with glorious food markets and, as you know, many many aspiring chefs and food writers.

Getting more disciplined after 6 months here, my attention will turn to your latest gig at the Times. There are about ten folks here at our CCRC that who also get the hard copy. We old people are trying, we really are.

yours, naomi

By naomi dagen bloom on May 2, 2010

Henry,

I’ll be going to Istanbul next month on an Atlantis cruise and enjoyed your “Appointment in Istanbul” article. A similar thing happened to me in Cairo last year on a bridge on the Nile, but more 99 cent storish. Thanks for the honesty. You might want to try the “Habibi Hookah social/dance event” or “Desilicious” in NYC.

By David on Jul 10, 2010

Mr. Alford,

I understand that your “Crib Sheet” piece in the NY Times is intended to be clever and amusing.

However, your July 21st column ended with 10. “June was the hottest month on record worldwide. God: ‘My bad. I left the oven on.’” This may draw a smile or even a guffaw, but the rising temperatures are neither funny nor do they have anything to do with God by any name.

June 2010 was the 304th consecutive month with a global temperature above the 20th century average for the same month. The last month with below-average temperature was February 1985. This is all about human inaction and it is not a laughing matter. People are dying from this heat and are praying for relief, particularly the elderly.

Keep smiling……

By Rev. Douglas Hunt on Jul 22, 2010